Sunday, May 31, 2015

Cemetery Stomping and Hiking in the Woods

Since last month, each weekend has been spent either mowing, obliterating the wilderness with my chainsaw, hauling crap to the dump, supervising other people with machetes as they take out their frustrations on the backyard rain forest, hiking.. sorta.. up mountain sides and through ancient cemeteries, trying to find someone to fix the hemorrhaging water pipe under the house and staring at the tree that missed the roof by about 12 inches during the last gully washer.

In between the weekends, it's been overtime at The Asylum, bitchy customers, doctor's appointments with Ma and nursing home stress.

This weekend, it's just been me, Dexter and the bed. I am tired. I think I'm allowed.

On Mother's Day, The Amazon came home from work and hopped in the bed and offered to take me off on an adventure. I took a quick shower, threw on an old skirt and some flip flops and we took off with Ayla in TA's little Outback.

We drove up to the top of Froggy Mountain, took the turnoff and crossed the shaky overpass onto a lumpy old dirt road, heading further up in to the wilderness. We parked at the end of the road, way up in the woods somewhere, then set off on foot.

The pasture on either side used to be tobacco fields, but are now planted with berry bushes and fruit trees to feed the bears and other wildlife that is protected here. It was weird to be at a point so high that there were no other mountains on the horizon. At the end of the clearing, the path lead back in to the woods, which must be a popular spot with the hikers.

I hung out at the top while T.A. took Ayla down the trail to large pond. It was downhill and pretty steep. I doubted I could heave my fat ass back up the trail in flip flops. While she and Ayla enjoyed the pond view, we heard the distinctive honking of an amorous stag. I told T.A. to honk back. I figured, if he mistook her for another male deer and came after her, I could get a gazillion YouTube hits. T.A., however, refused.


We hung out up there for a while, it was so quiet. There wasn't anyone else on the mountain top and you could hear every bird, every bug. It was pretty awesome.

When we got back to the car it was still pretty early, so we decided to head to the far side of town and up another mountain to check out the Oddfellow's Cemetery. This too was far off the beaten path. We'd gotten about halfway up there before admitting we probably should  have taken the truck, not only for the 4 x 4 but also to keep from getting stuck in the ginormous pot holes. Some of them were big enough to swallow T.A.'s little car whole. It was more of a wagon trail than a road.

We drove past the cemetery twice before we found it. T.A. insisted that it was an old dog log at the top of the hill. I'm not even sure you could call it a proper cemetery. There were no borders or paths, just a smattering of graves in the woods. We walked and walked, the stones getting older, until we thought we'd reached the end, just to look ahead and find another group of markers. 

I knew that my Great Uncle Jim is buried up there somewhere, but we never found his plot. I did find a marker for a two other greats, brother and sister, who died about a year apart. 

So that was a bonus. I didn't even know they were up there. 

I was starting to get a little nervous, stomping around in the woods in a skirt and flip flops. It was the beginning of snake season and they love the thick leaves and brush we were battling. Plus it was hot and I was running out of steam. I think we spent an hour up there before I called it a day and decided to head back to the house. But I'm going back... when it cools off.. a lot. 

In other news, Little Allen fixed my leaky pipe and refused payment. His wife, RiRi Niblett is preggers again and I'm sure they could have used some extra cash. 

At The Asylum we're still waiting for the Germans to come save the day. They're currently in negotiations with Corporate over who's going to fix the shitty roof. I wish they'd hurry up.

There'll be more soon, now that I've found my card reader. However, I've also lost my camera charger. I think I need to get organized.

But not today. I'm going to toss some clothes on and run to the Dolla Store. I don't have any clean delicate underthings, I'm hoping they have some. The laundromat closes in 30 minutes and frankly, I'm not washing anything tonight. 

Or maybe I'll go commando.

Anywho, that's all for now. We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters! 

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Ramblings About Things and Stuff

It's a beautiful, warm day in Frog Pond Holler. I'm still working on this morning's pot of coffee, laying around and doing nothing much. Last night, I made a breakfast casserole in my new slow cooker, so morning munchies were waiting when I got up and when T.A. got home from her regular job.

She's always hungry before she goes to her side hustle at the library on Saturday mornings.

I scored the new cooker at the dollar store last weekend. They had all appliances 50% off and I had a $5 coupon, so there were deals to be had.

The coffee is an imported Italian blend, normally $9 a bag, on sale a couple of weeks ago at buy one get one free, making them $4.50 each. I had coupons, one for $3 off and another for $2, so I ended up paying $2 each. Not a bad deal for high dolla joe.

I've felt like crap on a cracker all friggen week. Thelma is still on vacation in Colorado, so Kat's been doing Thelma's job and I haven't had either of my assistants. Fighting a fever and Rice Krispie joints (snap! crackle! pop!) was challenging, but I showed up anyway. I was so thankful to see the past week over and done with.

And now the weekend. The FOUR DAY weekend.

I'll be firing up the chainsaw later today, provided it doesn't rain. It's electric (don't laugh.. ) and getting caught in a gully washer with four extension cords isn't a good idea. I have mostly electric yard equipment because repeatedly yanking a starter cord leaves my shoulders inflamed and locked up for days.

I've got too much chit to do to be laid up.

You may have noticed a recent lack o' pictures here on Hidden Mahala. I've taken a bunch, but I can't find my flippin' card reader. My camera was made before USB thingies became standard and you can forget WiFi. I have mini SDs in my tablet and phone, would it work if I put them in the converter thingie that comes with them and put it in my camera? Then I could upload them with my tablet.

Maybe I'll try that. Or just find my damned card reader. I'm sure I had it laying near by, but Damn Cat (previously the precious kitten Grim) throws EVERYTHING in the floor. I'm going in to debt buying light bulbs every payday because the little chithead flips over every lamp in the house once a week.... but only after I install a new bulb.

He's lucky he's cute.

I bring up the camera because I promise to take before and after photos of my projects, but who the hell knows when I'll get to post them.

Speaking of side hustles, I recently set up two more blogs with the intention of trying to score some extra change on the side. On American Mahala I had planned to address social issues, backed up with research, facts and the general opinions of social media. Unfortunately, after hustling robot monkeys all day, I barely have the mental capacity to form a complete sentence, much less compile research in to something readable. I also set up another site, researching funky gift items from Amazon, but again, my brain deadedness is chronic.

I felt like, people don't come here to listen to my political opinions and I don't want to offend anyone, but I did have things to say.


Time to get off my keister and get to it. We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!!

P.S. T.A.'s latest artsy-crafty obsession:

Fun and easy on the Rice Krispie hands!

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Hump It Like You Mean It

Humpday is upon us. All hail Humpday.

This Humpday is especially sweet because I'm off for four days straight after Friday. I decided to take a couple of days off that weren't for doctor's appointments or mammograms or anything else. The Amazon, who is off on Mondays and Tuesdays, is taking vacation on Saturday and Sunday, so we'll both be home to take care of some major tasks around the compound that neither of us can do alone.

We have pallets piled in the front yard and T.A. has part of them coated with water seal stuff. If we accomplish nothing else during those 4 days, we will be able to get them moved around back and stacked in to a makeshift porch. The hardest part will be digging the old broken steps out of the dirt, which were buried, compliments of Dubya and Ma.

Hopefully I'll be able to get those friggen raised beds in before it's too late... again and chop down a few smaller trees. We need to get more light in to the chicken coop. Sunlight = more eggs.

I have a list as long as your arm but I'm trying to be realistic. My body hasn't been very cooperative for the past year or so when it comes to doing anything major. Dr. Laurie used her pull to get me an appointment with a Rheumatologist on my insurance. There's only one and they're booked up for the next 12 months. Maybe they can give me more drugs.. or a swift kick in the keister.. whatever works.

Back at The Asylum, we've all moved beyond the wondering if we're being bought stage because honestly, what the hell else could it be? We've moved on to wondering about our seniority, vacation time and 401K nest egg.

It has to be better, right?

Anywho, ya'll have a good one. We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!


I think I should get one of these for my desk.. perfect for The Asylum.. because I am the sales ninja!